Issues with family

Difficult relationships

Your relationships with other people in the child’s life don’t end once you become a guardian. Those connections remain whether not essential people in the child’s life are physically present, including parents or siblings.

The award of guardianship can affect relationships and be an emotional process for everyone involved. Sometimes, it can lead to damaging behaviour too. If you live close to the child’s parents and family, it can create extra pressure on you to manage any issues. 

While all this can be difficult, you can access support that will help you think clearly and make good decisions for the child you care for.

Getting support

There are some common issues that our support team often talk to guardians about when it comes to handling issues with family. You can ask them about:

• the law around overturning guardianship orders

• parents visiting when they like

• parents believing they can ‘bring the child home’ at any time

• digital or social media contact with parents and family that has a negative impact on the child’s welfare or guardianship

• harassment, threats or nuisance behaviour

• helping children cope with their feelings, including conflicting loyalties, resentment and confusion

• persistently difficult contact time with family, including parents not keeping in touch, letting the child down or exposing them to inappropriate or risky situations 

• managing wider family relationships, tension and conflict 

It can also be a challenge for guardians to know how to handle family-time (contact) that is actually going better than expected. This can present unexpected questions about what is in everyone's best interests and how to manage expectations.

If you feel that issues with family are negatively affecting you, your family or the child you care for, that's a sign you need to seek support.

Contact our team

Guardianship orders can be challenged but are rarely overturned

One of the most upsetting things for guardians to deal with is parents threatening or taking unwelcome action to end the guardianship order. 

Such requests by parents rarely go ahead or are successful, but we recognise that even just the threat of this happening can create enormous stress and emotional turmoil. 

A guardianship order can only legally be varied (changing the terms) or discharged (ended) by the family court.

The child’s parent must apply to the court for a right to challenge the special guardianship order. There must be a ‘significant change of circumstances’ and if the court does not deem there to be one then the request will stop.

If the court decides there is a significant change of circumstances, they will consider the child’s welfare and the parent’s chances of success in challenging the Special Guardianship Order. 

Guardianship orders are there to provide long-term stability for a child, courts typically hold a reasonably high threshold for any parent appealing to end a guardianship order. 

Contact our team if you are have any concerns about your guardianship being overturned, or any threats to try and overturn it.

Depending on your circumstances, we may recommend you seek legal advice to get clarity and reassurance.

The charity, Child Law Advice offers free expert advice ↗. 

Issues with family time (contact)

Read our support guides on contact with family and digital and social media contact to get practical advice on managing issues around contact with family.

Any guardian, child or birth parent can ask for a family time (contact) review from our support team at any time. We take a detailed look at your situation to set up more suitable family time (contact) arrangement.

If an agreement can’t be reached, the family court may need to decide what should happen next. This can be a lengthy process. It is usually in everyone’s best interests to resolve issues away from the court system.

Talking when talking is difficult

As with any family issues, it's vital you talk to the child you care for. Their wellbeing is the most important thing, and their feelings and views must be heard and considered.

The charity, Kinship care has practical advice for talking to young people living in kinship care about the relationships with family ↗.

When you’re going through ongoing issues with family, having respectful and useful conversations can feel a million miles away. 

Yet even where there are disagreements and disputes about the way forwards, you have a shared interest in making sure the child is cared for. This should be the basis of your communication and finding a way forward.

Research shows, even when it may not be obvious, most children want everyone involved to have a positive relationship. 

Our experienced team can listen to your experience and suggest practical ways to manage or resolve conflict and disputes.