Topic: Contact with family
Managing contact with family
Many guardians find it challenging to manage children’s contact time with family. It can be stressful and emotional, but with planning and support, many situations can become a positive experience for the child you care for. Where this isn’t the case support is available to help.
Noelle explains the support available for contact with family
Plan and be flexible
Contact with family must be in your child’s best interests. Managed well, it can help children form their identity and develop relationships. It becomes easier for everyone to deal with any feelings of loss and separation.
Contact arrangements may have been set out as part of your initial guardianship order or support plan. Those arrangements for contact can and should adapt over time as the child grows and their needs change.
Make it positive
Research shows that poor quality contact time can make existing problems worse. That’s why it’s important everyone involved works together to make sure the experience is positive for the child.
Good quality contact with family is when:
meetings are rewarding and respect the child’s needs and wishes
the child is safe and feels safe
adults work together to support the child
everyone is clear on the purpose and structure of meetings
plans change over time to meet the child’s best interest and needs
You can use this checklist to reflect together on how your existing contact time arrangements are working.
Making it work
Everyone is different and your situation might make good quality contact time difficult. However, your child may still want and value that time. Our support team are here to answer your questions and help you make it work.
Guardians often ask us about contact time frequency, behaviour, venues and activity ideas, and safety concerns. We can help you prepare for meetings and support you afterwards, plus talk through digital contact with family.
Things you can do now
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Get ideas for meetings and activities
Our team can suggest activities for all ages and lots of different situations that feel safe and help create quality contact time with family. The Ourfamilywizard website also has a list of suggestions. Guardian groups can be another good source of inspiration.
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Share questions and concerns with our team
We have lots of experience helping guardians deal with challenges around contact with family. We can listen, give you practical advice and help improve your situation.
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Set some boundaries
As a guardian, you are responsible for making sure family time works for the child. You need to feel confident enough to set and stick to clear boundaries that put the child’s best interests first.
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Ask for a family-time (contact) review
All guardians and children can ask for a free family-time (contact) review at any point. We take a detailed look at your situation to help set up more suitable arrangements for contact with family.
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Learn about digital contact
It can be hard to make sure a young person's online connections with family and friends are positive. Learn practical tips on managing potential risks and boost your confidence to care for a child in a digital age.
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Read Family Action's advice on managing contact
Independent charity. Family Rights has a PDF information sheet for guardians that includes practical tips and tactics to help you manage contact with family.
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Speak to other guardians
Talking to other people in similar situations can be helpful and give you ideas. There are many guardian groups and forums in Buckinghamshire, across the UK and online.